To return or not to return: That question has been answered.

The sojourn on the other side of the Atlantic was nice. Although the weather was not welcome, being with Amy at our home, eating well, having laughs, enjoying the antics of our crazy canines were a grateful respite from the immersion in uncertainty and recurring news of violence and upheaval that characterized Kenya prior to and after my departure.
The decision to leave Africa was a good one in that I was able to have the opportunity to enjoy myself without feeling the purposelessness while waiting in Dar es Salaam. I was able to help Amy with day to day errands, make the phone calls that she has not been able to deal with considering her busy schedule, and do some general catch up on the real life challenges that seem to always plague us on a daily basis.
After coming home there was much discussion between family and friends about the necessity of returning to Matoso. The uncertainty of stability, the lack of a provisional government, the potential challenges of lost supply lines resulting in food and medicine shortages, and the worst possibilty of physical isolation without means of any movement for fear of violent consequences were all on the minds of everybody including myself. However, Lalmba USA, within a few days of my arrival, did make the arrangements for all of us to come back to Matoso within the ensuing 4 weeks. We would return to the clinic as a group. The quick decision to return was made mainly because of the scarcity of airplane tickets. Had things deteriorated further, those plans would have been canceled.
As news of continued violence persisted, the decision to return persisted to be a difficult one. Our communications with Kenya continued to indicate that the Migori area was calm. All of the Kikuyus had been “liquidated” and the violent proclivities of the Luo in South Nyanza seemed to have been satisfied. The roads were opened, the medical transports had resumed, and obtaining medicines was without difficulty. Marico, the project director who had always given correct analyses and appropriate advice, continued to maintain that returning to Matoso was still a good plan.
Amy and I had discussed the decision to return at length. She was comfortable with the idea. Knowing what the situation was on the ground gave her the reassurance to support the thought of my going back to work here. When things initially prompted us to leave, she felt that an eventual return to the area was still warranted having seen the nature of my work and the positive attitude of the community towards me; when things were so bad that returning was too dangerous, she insisted that I come home; and when things had settled down and Marico advised that returning would not be difficult, she agreed that going back was still a good idea.
It was still a challenge to determine what the right course was. The detractors and supporters of the idea of going back was interestingly split along generational lines: those of our generation felt that going back was indeed acceptable, while the older ones felt that the risk was unnecessary. However, the problem was complicated. Of course, I felt needed. Prisca, our registrar, had called me with her own money while I was in Dar asking that I should come back soon. When I mentioned that Marico had indicated that things were too tenuous, she agreed, but still she hoped that my return would be sooner rather than later. Joseph had also called saying that I should come back soon. Both of them called me with their own money and considering at the time money was difficult to come by and cellphone cards were also a rarity, it is indication of their hope that I would return.
Moreover, I was afraid that they might think that my not returning would constitute a desertion. Despite the fact that it was a good personal (and financial) decision for the previous volunteer to not return, for some of the people here, there may have been that sense of abandonment. I’m not sure if that is the case or not, but I certainly did not want to augment the idea that the volunteers come and then when things are tough they abandon the same people they came to help. It was important to me that that not be the case.
Finally, as Murphy’s law dictates, the timing of this SNAFU could not be worse. We were on the verge of launching our new TB treatment program, we had just moved to the new PSC, and we were going to introduce the new PSC in-charge to the workings of the institution. Then suddenly I had to leave to ensure Amy’s safety and successful return to the States. Her job was of paramount importance – no job, no money, no ability for me to continue working for nothing. In light of the upheaval in the country as well as to the functioning of the clinic, I felt it was necessary to come back so that I could help make sure that these other programs could be reinforced and that they were also in a stable position for when the new volunteers come to take over from me. As everybody knows an organized transfer of responsibility is vitally important to the continued functioning and eventual self sustainability of any project. Plus, reinventing the wheel is no fun.
Therefore, the combination of these factors lead me to decide that returning was necessary to the satisfaction of some to the chagrin of others. Regardless of where anybody stood, all were supportive of my work and my choice. It was difficult even for me to come back after having spent such quality time with Amy and the dogs. But in this case, the call of duty was strong enough to wrench me away from the comforts of my home (the weather notwithstanding) and my family. And now this latest blog entry comes to you from Kenya.

P.S. - Oh yeah... if you look hard, under the picture at the top of the blog is a link to our Kenya photo gallery on www.smugmug.com. If you're too lazy to look for it, click here. And, if you like them, look at all of our photos: jeevamy.smugmug.com