The Voyage Home

I write this blog from the comforts of my own home in Indianapolis. Yes, I have now departed the African continent. I hope that it will be a brief sojourn in the US to wait for things to calm down in Kenya before returning. In fact, as I write, we are making the plans for our return trip through Tanzania to reach the Matoso clinic.

When I reached Dar Es Salaam, I was all ready to head back to Matoso. Amy had successfully returned home; the Canadian couple with the two young children had arrived safely in Canada; and the African Pastor had established himself securely with his family in his original home town. All of the tenuous outliers of our original group of refugees had gone back to their proper places. Unfortunately, the unrest continued and the roadways to Matoso were still blocked. Food, cash, and supplies continued to be an issue. Thankfully, we were well stocked before the badness really hit.

When the repeat rallies took place from Wednesday to Friday last week, contact with Lalmba USA and Lalmba Kenya informed me that return was both extremely difficult, unsafe, and unwise. Consequently, I had to wait for more time. That was after one week in Tanzania already. Finally, when Monday of this week came, there did not seem to be any indication of resumption of normalcy in the area. In fact, over the past weekend, independent of the rally calls of the ODM (the opposition party), people again blocked the roads leading in and out of Matoso. They pulled down the polls that were to eventually support power lines (whenever the government decided that the polls should be more than wooden decorations on the side of a dirt road) and again all travel in and out was stopped. Even though personal danger was non-existent, the traveling would indeed be hazardous.

Overall, I had been getting increasingly restless in Dar Es Salaam. I couldn't communicate with Matoso via phone because both the cell network as well as the internet network were extremely unreliable, plus it is very expensive to communicate via phone for more than a few minutes. And I was not doing anything of import in Tanzania. At this point, the only way to get back to the clinic was to bike. Considering that some Kenyans had targeted South Asian stores in both Kisumu and Migori, both Dad and Amy thought this was an extremely bad idea. Others even pointed out that if I became a target while crossing the border whoever was with me would be placed in an unsafe situation also. Finally, we concluded that the time for just doing nothing was over. Along with Lalmba USA, we decided that my time would be better spent by returning home, communicating with Lalmba Kenya via phone, and spending quality time with my wife prior to our repeat separation during my fellowship.

It was a difficult decision to decide to come back. I realize that the civil unrest is extremely bad. Things flare up and die down and flare up again. Death by machete is not a fun way to go - it's bloody, messy, and slow. However, despite these threats to life and limb, it took some persuading to get me to come home. Things in Matoso in the PSC were at a juncture that this interruption could potentially be quite damaging. Had this happened one month before or one month after December 27, the upheaval in the PSC program would have been relatively mild. However, Lalmba Kenya had many goals for the new year for which we had set ourselves up to meet. I was an integral part of those plans to help pull them off. If I had had a crystal ball that would have told me that at the end of January all hell would break loose, I would have had the time and opportunity to successfully train the PSC in-charge thereby making me virtually redundant anyway. That means, new projects might be difficult to initiate but all of the changes made would have proceeded smoothly and the status quo would have been maintained without much difficulty. As foreign volunteers, our job is really to help innovate and implement and instruct. The Kenyan staff have a lot of experience in their own right, and our job is to improve function not bolster daily operations - at least not after over 20 years of Lalmba Kenya's gradual and successful development.

In addition to the practical difficulties of clinic operation created by my evacuation and inability to return, it was disturbing to me emotionally to think that I was abandoning the very people that I came to help. Granted, the staff of Lalmba Kenya agreed with the need to leave the area, especially with Amy around, as well as the caution regarding my return, but I felt that the bond that was created between me and them meant that I should continue in the trenches with them. But Prisca, Joseph, Nancy, Elizabeth, Marico - all of these people were of one mind that I should leave and only come back when things are better. I hope I can indeed go back sooner rather than later.

The trip home was disappointing. I could only stew in my own thoughts. The flight from Amsterdam to Detroit did serve as a bit of a distraction, as I was able to enjoy three decent movies: Balls of Fury, The Brave One, and 3:10 to Yuma. However, I kept wondering to myself whether I made the right decision. It definitely was the right decision by Amy and my family, but was it the right decision by Lalmba Kenya? When does the need of the few outweigh the needs of the many? How do we balance the degree of the need to begin with? Did I attach too much significance to my role there? Perhaps, we will discover that I was successful in making myself redundant even before the meltdown happened. That would definitely be a heartening ending to this story. However, I cannot know because I am not there and I cannot communicate effectively with them.

The arrival home was nevertheless wonderful. Amy met me in the airport. It was great to see her. She was so considerate even to bring my huge leather jacket, although I was already bundled up and prepared for the frigid Indiana weather. Once we got home, I was greeted with the most wonderful soup in the world - an amazing tomato soup with "wooden" rice with a mix of spices so superb that the taste just explodes in your mouth. The meal is great in itself but made better by the fact that it warmed me up as I slowly acclimatize to this horrible climate.

The dogs were all over me when I got into the car. Initially, I had approached the vehicle with my hood up and they were trying to protect their territory from this hooded stranger by barking like mad. However, once I dropped the hood, recognition was instant. Duke presented a torn up green toy to me as he always does when he is greeting somebody joyfully, and Domino deposited herself on my lap for the entire ride home. It was a very heartwarming welcome home.

In the end, I hope to go back. If I cannot, I hope that my work was not in vain.